Attraction to the opposite gender is not a sin; it’s like hunger in Ramadan, and it’s completely natural.
Imam Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله said, “Allah has placed in the nature of a man an inclination towards a woman, just like the inclination of a thirsty person towards water and that of a hungry person towards food, to the point that many people may be patient with food and drink, but not with women” [Ad-Daa' wad-Dawa]
Islam does not forbid love nor look down on desires asking us to curb them. In fact, our Deen propagates them and teaches us how to discipline those desires. It is the culture that has made talking about and seeking advice on intimate matters look awkward.
It is extremely weird and disturbing to see that there are instances when young adults have reached out to their parents or guardians seeking help to get married and they have been termed as "perverts" or "just wanting sex" directly or indirectly.
Treating the second point first, if indeed the reason for wanting to get married is to engage in sexual intercourse, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. The family should indeed be happy that their son or daughter didn't take the easy route out where they could have had relations with anyone outside of marriage and not have to worry about the responsibilities that are attached to such a relationship.
It's not always just about physical intimacy. That might be a short-term thing. What would be the very foundation of the relationship is the companionship of the spouse and the emotional and spiritual intimacy. As for being called a "pervert" for wanting companionship in the form of a spouse, I wonder what people with such a perverted mentality would call our fathers Prophet Adam and Prophet Muhammad.
But before that, speaking about the greater goal of marriage and it’s actual spirit, Allah says,
وَمِنْ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦٓ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَٰجًۭا لِّتَسْكُنُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةًۭ وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ لَـَٔايَـٰتٍۢ لِّقَوْمٍۢ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect. [Surah ar-Rum, 21] The ayah has declared that the object of married life of man and woman is peace of mind.
Allah further says,
هُنَّ لِبَاسٌۭ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌۭ لَّهُنَّ ۗ
"…They are a garment for you and you are a garment for them…” [Surah al-Baqarah, 187]
A garment is worn to cover one's faults and blemishes. Likewise, spouses protect each other and cover-up their weaknesses and faults. A garment is worn to guard one's modesty. A garment keeps one warm and protected. It is supposed to be comfortable to wear. A garment is always attached to you and it enhances or beautifies the one wearing it. Without the garment, you would feel bare and incomplete. Likewise, spouses complement, supplement, and support each other to become better.
The Very Origin of Man: Prophet Adam
Prophet Adam عليه السلام was fashioned by Allah and then allowed to live in Jannah. Despite being in Jannah and having anything that his heart could desire, Prophet Adam felt lonely. He desired for companionship. Man by his very nature is a social being and was not meant to live life in solitude for long.
Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنهم and a group of companions of the Prophet ﷺ narrated that when Iblis was sent out of Jannah and Adam was accommodated therein, Adam was alone in Jannah. He felt an element of loneliness. He slept for some time and when he woke up, he saw a woman whom Allah had created from his ribs.
So he asked her, "Who are you?
She replied, "A woman"
He asked: "Why have you been created?"
She said, "So that you could find tranquility in me."
The angels, trying to find out the extent of his knowledge, asked him: "What is her name, O Adam?"
He replied, "Hawwa'" They asked, "Why was she so named?" He replied, " Because she was created from something living."
Imam Ibn Kathir رحمه الله notes, "When Adam woke up and saw Hawwa', he liked her and had affection for her, and she felt the same toward him."
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ: Chosen as Final Messenger
We look at our beloved Nabi ﷺ. When Angel Jibreel came down and placed the mantle of Prophethood on his blessed shoulders, our Prophet ﷺ rushed from Mount Hira towards his wife for comfort who covered him in her embrace and soothed his worries. The best of creation also required companionship. He ﷺ saw the virtue and power of the woman, her ability to reassure, rebuild, and remind the man of who he was and who he can become.
The Father of Mankind as well as Our Prophet ﷺ whom we are told to follow in everything that we do - needed companionship in their life. Yet, when the youth running away from a hyper-sexualized society turn to marriage, they are labeled as perverts. Ajeeb.
For those waiting. Allah is the Best of Planners and Most Wise. 50,000 years before the sky was introduced to the sea, Allah wrote down your name next to the one meant for you. Are you even ready for your garment? That is the main question.
